#*yeah no. i'm too old to use the term crushing with all these actors anyway and trully what i have for each of them is admiration 💛

[aprilblossomgirl]

-- winny's instagram post 22.08.2023.

[luninosity]

I don't have much right now, but I seriously want to paypal you money when I get paid. I finished Character Bleed. It's probably the best thing I've ever read, and I've read... thousands of fics. Probably hundreds of thousands. Thank you for giving me something to look forward to and think happily about while the world is going apeshit. Yeah, I can see poor Colby trying to take care of himself like that, as a child... it hurts my heart. I'm so glad he has Jason to take care of him now.

I’ve had this ask sitting here because every time I see it, it makes me smile, and then I end up just being happy and not having words to answer! Thank you!!

It’s probably my favorite thing I’ve written (not that I don’t have other favorites...depends on the day and the fandom...) just in terms of...how real the characters feel in my head, how much I know about them, how protective I feel about them...and then all the excitement of sharing them with everyone and seeing people love them along with me!

And - I think I’ve mentioned this somewhere, but if I haven’t - it’ll be coming out as a trilogy this fall, from JMS Books! (And good GOD did I have a hard time with the summary...trying to explain to my editor what it was in fact about...”it’s sort of like they’re filming Master and Commander except even more gay somehow, and also the actors fall in love, but there’s also very gentle hurt/comfort and D/s themes and a lot of bread puns...also the whole thing is like 254k words...”)

Colby is in some ways weirdly super-competent, and then in some very specific ways not! He taught himself how to cook, how to do laundry, how to clean everything in his room(s)...he always wanted to try to not make a mess and try to not cause a bother to anyone (up to and including times when he got hurt, physically or emotionally) (young!Colby figured out that he was into guys, and hence probably gay, when he was pretty young - unlike Jason, who kind of tried not to think about being bi, Colby pretty much knew...as soon as he was old enough to realize who he had crushes on...and then quietly coped with that self-awareness on his own, too). He’s also never not had money - he had a credit card really young, and zero parental oversight; they basically went, “here you go, don’t bother us” - and he doesn’t really...know how much things cost? Things cost whatever they cost, right? (*insert “it’s one banana, what could it cost?” meme*)

So Colby can cook a fantastic meal and do his own laundry and dust the bookshelves and pick locks and make his own mead, but he doesn’t really know what a budget is. Like, he gets the concept - as a producer on Steadfast, he’s seen spreadsheets and such, he understands the idea - but the back of his head is always going, “well, but if we need more money, can’t I just simply...give us more money?”

And Jason has a lot of complicated feelings about all this. Like, it’s not as if he grew up poor either - his family was doing more than fine - but both his parents definitely *worked*, and his mom knows about the prices of food and ingredients, and so on. He’s both sort of glad that at least Colby wasn’t neglected in *that* specific way - Colby had food, a household staff, ways to buy himself new books or school supplies - and also sometimes baffled by the level of wealth/connections that can just say, “oh, we could stay in that castle for the week if you want!” But then Jason is also sometimes Very Angry about Colby’s childhood, like when Colby admits to learning how to pick locks because his parents kept forgetting they had a kid and would leave and go on vacation before he got home from school, or the day Jason realizes that kid!Colby never really had a birthday party. (His dad tried to organize something once or twice, but it was always, like, the kids who had parents that were politically useful, and not a real party, and young!Colby was very shy and did not in fact have friends anyway. Colby’s mother also never saw the point of birthday parties: not as if it’s an accomplishment, is it, darling...)

Jason, upon hearing that, has to take a few deep breaths and calm down before saying anything. And then he ends up baking a cake while Colby’s at a Krav Maga lesson with Evan or something, because Jason also isn’t bad in a kitchen and Colby deserves a birthday cake, dammit. <3

...look, more headcanon! I did say they were way too real in my head... :D :D

And thank you for putting up with me rambling about them! <333

(side note: I do have a paypal, not that you need to, but I’ve just realized I don’t in fact have that linked anywhere on this tumblr! here it is.)